The Perry Brothers - Ch. 21

Terri and Terry, 20 years old

It's been a week. The twins haven't talked to each other at all. A week. 7 days. 168 hours. Not a word. It's been painful. Torture. Terri couldn't even dance. He was so distracted by all the feelings and thoughts. Just like emotional experiences usually do, this gave Terry a lot of inspiration. But he just couldn't write anything. He has come up with a lot of great metaphors, but sitting down at a desk and writing doesn't work out. But the silence. Oh, the silence. Sitting in their small apartment. Eating and watching a comedies on TV. And no laugh could be heard. No smile could be seen. Even going to buy groceries. They didn't talk about what to buy. Ofcourse they had to communicate in some way, but once again, no words were spoken. For Terry, it always takes long to recover from a fight, but not this long. And Terri. It barely takes a day, before he begs for Terry's forgiveness. And now, he's the most silent. Maybe that's why they haven't talked at all for this long.

   Celia has finally invited Terri over. Though only to her friend's house. She's borrowing it so her parents won't know about Terri and Terry. They're lying on a bed with Terri's arm around Celia. Terri's doubting. Should he really do this. What if Terry is right? He's hurting himself and Terry. And at some point he would realize it and would have to hurt Celia and himself again. Well, maybe Terry's wrong. But at some point, they'd have to meet Celia's parents. They obviously wouldn't want to see their daughter in the arms a grown man. Who is also a two-headed 'freak'... It's impossible to decide. No matter what, something goes wrong. This may be Terri's only chance for a propper relationship. But he might have to give it up. He should give it up. Or maybe he shouldn't. A decision between losing something special and living in pain.

   The moment is coming closer. It's fast. It'll be here soon and if you don't stop it, there's no going back. Also if you do stop it, that choice cannot be undone. It's getting closer. Why won't it slow down? Terri can't choose this fast! It's closer. It's almost there. This is too hard. It's here! "Celia! I-I'm sorry." "What?" "I c-can't be with you." There it was. Terri stopped it. He regrets it. But it can't be undone. "Let's face it, Celia. You're only 15. I don't want to be the one taking your childhood and your innocence." "But, Terri..." "And I don't care if you're 15, 21 or 52. I can't be with you. Because... Terry is unhappy. Seeing him unhappy breaks my heart." Terry suddenly looks like a child, not understanding. He's already expecting a 'Hah, isn't that funny!' But no. It goes on. "And if there's one person, who shouldn't break my heart, it's you. I'm sure we both would be happier in our own bodies, but I don't think I could live without you. Okay, maybe if we were born seperate, I could... But we're not. And we'll have to deal with it. So always when we say 'let me live my life' or 'this is your life and your problem' or something, we're wrong. It's not your life and my life... It's our life. The things you said earlier... Wow. It really made me think and... Well, you're right. You're right about everything." Terri starts weeping silent tears, but this time he's not fighting back. "And you have the right to hate me. You should hate me. And you do." One single tear rolls down Terry's cheek. Terri is amused and touched By his brother and his reaction. Terry hugs his Brother tightly before Terri even finishes his point. Terri tries to force his crying face into a smile and whispers: "I hate you too, bro."